Gooey Elf Bums

Step One: Open a pack of sweetened shredded coconut and put it in a bowl.

Step Two: Add one can of sweetened condensed milk (there is a difference) and then beat two egg whites to medium firm peaks and then fold the egg whites into the bowl.

Step Three: Take an ice cream scoop and place dollups of the mixture onto a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper. Use the handle of the spoon to create butt cracks on the mounds.

Step Four: Take mini chocolate chips and put one at the center of each of the buttcrack to mimmick a chocolate covered star fish.

Step Five: Take red sprinkles and spot them on the butt - like zits.

Step Six: Place in the oven and bake at 325 degrees for fifteen mins until the coconut turns golden brown like elf butt hair.

Step Seven: Place on cookie sheet to cool, get fruit rollups, (preferably strawberry or cherry) and cut into the shape of elf shorts and put slightly below butt.

Step Eight: Get a can of redi whip to make white trim on the shorts. Wrap the elf butts in holiday colored cellophane and take them to a retirement facility.

Step Nine: Tell the old people to gobble gobble.